13 ways to cultivate Peace and Luv in a Diverse World
Our actions are governed by our thoughts and the only way to effectively change the world to cultivate peace and love is to change the way we see each other. We treat people congruent to how we see them.
Do we want to stop destroying each other? We have been absorbing the recycled perceptions being passed down from generation to generation fed to us from our family, peers, education system, media, politics and religion. What have we trusted and accepted that keeps the destructive interactions we have with one another going? What have we agreed to that causes us to habitually despise one another because of our differences?
The truth is, we cannot force the KKK, Neo Nazis, and all other White Supremacist groups to start seeing People of Color as Human Beings and value our lives.
We cannot force anyone to accept us or Luv us.
The only way for people who are already infected with hatred, anger, fear, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and all intolerance towards those different from them is if they choose to clean out the toxins circulating in their minds, living in their veins, boiling in their blood.
Our actions are governed by our thoughts and the only way to effectively change the world to cultivate peace and Luv is to change the way we see each other. We treat people congruent to how we see them.
For those of us who can genuinely see each other as human beings let's do our part to stop breeding more hate and start creating more understanding, positive, and Luving environments.
13 Ways to Cultivate Peace and Luv (So much more can be added, but this is a start)
Do not be Color Blind. See everyone. See the diversity because there is nothing wrong with what people are. You can Luv yourself while still appreciating and respecting people different from you.
Raise your children around various cultures and travel outside of your neighborhood, community, state, and country. If your children are raised getting to know people who speak different from them, look different from them, and think different from them then they won't fear differences. They will have an opportunity to appreciate differences and see beauty in it.
Do not justify acts of discrimination. When validating the actions of the attacker you’re demeaning the life of the one attacked.
Avoid generalizing. The behavior or attitude of one or some, is not all.
Be educated on the contributions people from other cultures have achieved and provided.
Do not make assumptions about a person or individual group. Get to know people for who they are, not who you expect them to be.
Do not participate in comments or actions that appear to be derogatory or prejudicial to any individual group.
Speak up when witnessing someone being humiliated or discriminated against.
Be aware of how you speak and treat people. Are your words and actions uplifting or damaging?
Do not make decisions for another culture if they should not be offended when their culture has been disrespected or dehumanized. It is not for us to defend or condone any form of mistreatment against another that isn’t directed at us or our culture regardless how we would personally respond, react, or feel if in the same situation.
Be humble. Put your ego, assumptions, and views aside to genuinely reflect on another’s experience to avoid minimizing their experience or question the validity of their feelings.
Acknowledge that all people are human beings.
Value each other's lives.
Luv Mrk offers Impacting Perceptions an interactive workshop or presentation assessing our perceptions and treatment of people due to their gender, race, religion, politics, socio-economic status, sexuality, ability, and appearance in order to build positive relationships and enhance empathy. This workshop or presentation is for students, educators, employees, volunteers, leaders, and all others interested in building unity and having increased emotional intelligence/self-awareness to make a lasting positive impact in our professional and personal lives. This experience is great for diversity training, leadership seminars, team building workshops, orientations, community building events, retreats, enrichment/elective classes, after school programs, and speaker series events.
How to Be There for Someone Who Has Lost a Loved One
It is not always simple knowing how to provide comfort to someone who has lost a loved one. Sometimes you don’t know what to say or what to do to offer support, but reach out anyway. The person who is dealing with someone they cared about passing on may be feeling empty, lost, and alone, for that reason they will appreciate you caring about them and being there for them. Here are some suggestions to offer comfort and assistance...
It is not always simple knowing how to provide comfort to someone who has lost a loved one. Sometimes you don’t know what to say or what to do to offer support, but reach out anyway. The person who is dealing with someone they cared about passing on may be feeling empty, lost, and alone, for that reason they will appreciate you caring about them and being there for them. Here are some suggestions to offer comfort and assistance...
- Contact the grieving person by phone or visit them in person to offer your condolences.
- Offer them a hug, hold their hand, or any form of physical contact you both are comfortable with. You could also just sit next to them and keep providing tissue if they are crying. Sometimes you do not need to say or do anything, but just physically be there, your presence may provide the comfort they need at that moment.
- Instead of saying you are here for them if they need you, just actually do something. They may not know what they need and won’t want to burden you when they do need something.
- Bring over food, disposable eating utensils, paper towels, toilet tissue, and tissue. This is for anyone who lives in the house and for people visiting to provide emotional support; the bereaved person does not need to be concerned with being a host.
- Cook, clean, or run errands for them.
- Volunteer to do specific activities to help with planning the funeral or celebration of life. Could be contacting people inviting them to the funeral, acquiring a caterer, making a tribute video, being an usher the day of the service, etc.
- Help setup a fundraising drive to cover funeral/celebration of life costs or contribute to the fund.
- Even if you know what they are going through this is their own personal event they have to face, do not offer unsolicited similar experiences. If they ask you questions, then have that conversation.
- Do not tell them, “It was their time” or “S/He is in a better place”. Those words offer no relief.
- Do not ask anyone, “How close they were to the deceased” or any questions that resemble the kind of relationship they had. It does not matter if the last time someone spoke to the person was months ago or the last time they saw each other was a year ago, people can still care for someone no matter the time that has passed in staying in communication.
- Keep in touch with the bereaved person on a regular basis. After the funeral/celebration of life, they will still need emotional support. Make sure you’re being there just enough, but not pestering. If they celebrate holidays, definitely make it a point to reach out during those times as well.
- If the person is suffering from physical loneliness, offer to spend the night or a couple nights and watch movies or play games. Do activities they will enjoy.
- Be understanding to the different emotions they will experience and do not take the moments of them being angry and unkind to you personally.
- Allow the person to heal in their own time. Everyone handles death differently and they don’t need an expiration date for mourning. Even when it appears as though they are getting back to their regular routine, they may still be hurting. Respect their process.
Extra Note: Share with your loved ones how you care about them right now. It’s great to hear people sharing stories at the funeral/celebration of life of all of the wonderful ways the deceased person has positively affected their lives, but they would have loved to have heard those words while still living.
Sake of friendship
When people are arguing neither one is listening to the core of the problem between the spaces of their hurt and insecurities masked in anger. As the dispute escalates words may be said that cannot be unheard, actions may take place that cannot be undone.
When people are arguing neither one is listening to the core of the problem between the spaces of their hurt and insecurities masked in anger. As the dispute escalates words may be said that cannot be unheard, actions may take place that cannot be undone. When we work to be understanding, we're able to forgive others, and forgive ourselves.
So when we are embracing anger, instead of forgiveness; judgment, instead of understanding; pain, instead of healing; ego, instead of truth; take a breath, step back and remember that we are all functioning from our own level of consciousness. All of us are reacting from our life experienced-based interpretation of the given situation. When we take a moment to acknowledge this we can get ourselves back on track, for the sake of our friendship/relationships and also our own peace of mind.
We project what is within, which is why Luv Mrk offers Impacting Perceptions, a transformative workshop to explore our personal views and how these interpretations affect self and relationships with others. Discover how outside influences from our experiences and environment to the media shapes our perceptions which in turn inspire our choices and actions. When we identify the beneficial and/or destructive impact our beliefs have on our lives we can then consciously choose to evolve our approach to the way we treat ourselves and those around us in order to cultivate the peace and Luv we seek in the world.
Perception
How do your perceptions affect your life? Don't worry this isn’t about looking at your perceptions as being right or wrong. I get it, once we grasp our own understanding of how life works, we customarily hold onto our viewpoints and defend them when we feel someone is trying to have us see through a lens we aren’t accustomed to or have no desire to look through.
Definition: The recognition and interpretation of sensory stimuli based chiefly off memory; a single unified awareness derived from sensory processes while a stimulus is present; the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses; a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression; the neurophysiological processes, including memory, by which an organism becomes aware of and interprets external stimuli...
How do your perceptions affect your life? Don't worry this isn’t about looking at your perceptions as being right or wrong. I get it, once we grasp our own understanding of how life works, we customarily hold onto our viewpoints and defend them when we feel someone is trying to have us see through a lens we aren’t accustomed to or have no desire to look through. We feel they are trying to shred the fabric that makes up our being in order to change us or tell us we’re wrong. Don't get caught up on right or wrong, just acknowledge how your views impact you and your relationship with others.
We treat ourselves and others congruent to how we view ourselves and others. For instance, if you see someone as a kind and loving person, then you may in return treat them with kindness. That is, if you like compassionate people. What about how you treat yourself? Are you living how you want to be living right now? If so, it's because you see yourself as capable of living the life you want. If you see yourself as intelligent, skilled, business savvy, and innovative then you'll have enough confidence to start that business you have been thinking of, or apply for that position in the career field of your choice. If you see yourself as attractive, then you'll have the confidence to ask that person you're interested in on a date. If you see yourself as strong, you know you have that drive to push through and overcome challenges life throws at you. If you see yourself as an adventurous traveler, you explore.
Our actions are governed by our thoughts stemmed from our perceptions. When we take a moment to be more aware of how we perceive ourselves, others, and events, we can identify the beneficial and/or destructive impact our interpretations are having in our lives and at that point decide if we want or need to do something about it. If you want to get that job, get that promotion, have better friends, if there is anything you want, pay attention to how you see yourself and what you're telling yourself. That is the driving force that can take you where you want to go or keep you on the same road you keep telling yourself is right for you.
Knowledge is vital, accountability and action is power.
We project what is within, which is why Luv Mrk offers Impacting Perceptions, a transformative workshop consisting of brain teaser exercises, illusions, videos and activities used to explore our personal views and how these interpretations affect self and relationships with others. Discover how outside influences from our experiences and environment to the media shapes our perceptions which in turn inspire our choices and actions. When we identify the beneficial and/or destructive impact our beliefs have on our lives we can then consciously choose to evolve our approach to the way we treat ourselves and those around us in order to cultivate the peace and Luv we seek in the world.