How to Stay Motivated to Reach Goals in 12 Steps
Following your professional aspirations isn't always easy and glamorous. It's hard work, it takes time, you'll make mistakes, and you have to stay motivated and dedicated…
Following your professional aspirations isn't always easy and glamorous. It's hard work, it takes time, you'll make mistakes, and you have to stay motivated and dedicated even when you feel you're going nowhere and not receiving a lot of support.
Furthermore, there may be times you feel discouraged because it appears as though others are attaining success faster than you. However, you don't know how hard they have worked or what they have gone through to reach their current status. You also don't know if they're doing as great as you think. Most importantly why compare yourself to others? How does it serve you to be consumed with whether others are appearing to be doing better or worse than you? There are several highly ambitious individuals out there so do not concern yourself with being better than anyone and instead do your best. Continue to be better than who you were yesterday. Keep moving forward by growing your confidence and putting your time and energy into building your own empire or into achieving whatever your own goals are. You got this!
12 Steps to stay motivated:
- Surround yourself with people who are rooting for you to succeed.
- Spend time with positive friends and family.
- Focus on what you have achieved.
- Realize the setbacks have been lessons to further your knowledge and strengthen your abilities.
- Instead of staying in a state of worrying or agonizing, start strategizing.
- Watch inspirational videos.
- Listen to motivational podcasts.
- Keep learning.
- Be mindful of your words affirming who you are.
- Keep telling yourself you are ready.
- Be aware of your habits creating desired outcomes.
- Celebrate accomplishments.
If you or someone you know needs to receive assistance in getting to the root of what has caused your fears, anger, sadness, lack of confidence, lack of love for self and others, emotional pain, and other damaging feelings holding you back from happiness, one on one coaching is available. Transformational tools are provided to replace language and thoughts that block progress to constructive words and beliefs opening you up to your capabilities. Recognize your ability to overcome battles and charge through obstacles. Stop having dreams and pursue goals. Take control of your life to live it for you and not by the expectations of others. Know your worth. Luv yourself. Luv others. Ultimately bring to surface the power, inner strength, and courage you have to be your authentic self. Contact us for more information.
How to Overcome Depression
Sadness or a depressed mood is a normal temporary reaction when experiencing certain life events. Depression is more than going through a rough state in your life, it's a serious mental health condition.
Sadness or a depressed mood is a normal temporary reaction when experiencing certain life events. Depression is more than going through a rough state in your life, it's a serious mental health condition. People with depression experience hopelessness, feelings of worthlessness, loss of interests in activities, lack of concentration, social isolation, exhaustion, insomnia, irritability, thoughts of suicide, and can also have physical aches and pains.
There are varying factors that can cause depression such as chemical imbalances, genetics, medications, and experiences. The contributing causes for developing depression is different for everyone, the most important thing is to realize that this is not a flaw in your character and to recognize the signs so you may seek support.
Some people will take a holistic or natural remedy approach to heal depression by eating healthy, exercising, meditating, acupuncture, spending time outdoors, creating art, talk therapy/support groups, and/or taking natural supplements. I recommend you do your research to find what is best for you.
If going the natural route is not for you and you want or need prescribed medication, make an appointment with your primary physician or a nurse practitioner as they can help you determine what type of provider (therapist) you should see. If your health insurance covers mental health services ask for the contact information of local service providers who accept your insurance plan.
If you or anyone you know is considering suicide get help. If you don't have anyone to talk to you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. They offer 24/7 support.
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
If you or someone you know are not dealing with depression, yet need to receive assistance in getting to the root of what has caused your fears, anger, sadness, lack of confidence, lack of love for self and others, emotional pain, and other damaging feelings holding you back from happiness, one on one coaching is available. Transformational tools are provided to replace language and thoughts that block progress to constructive words and beliefs opening you up to your capabilities. Recognize your ability to overcome battles and charge through obstacles. Stop having dreams and pursue goals. Take control of your life to live it for you and not by the expectations of others. Know your worth. Luv yourself. Luv others. Ultimately bring to surface the power, inner strength, and courage you have to be your authentic self. Contact us for more information.
13 ways to cultivate Peace and Luv in a Diverse World
Our actions are governed by our thoughts and the only way to effectively change the world to cultivate peace and love is to change the way we see each other. We treat people congruent to how we see them.
Do we want to stop destroying each other? We have been absorbing the recycled perceptions being passed down from generation to generation fed to us from our family, peers, education system, media, politics and religion. What have we trusted and accepted that keeps the destructive interactions we have with one another going? What have we agreed to that causes us to habitually despise one another because of our differences?
The truth is, we cannot force the KKK, Neo Nazis, and all other White Supremacist groups to start seeing People of Color as Human Beings and value our lives.
We cannot force anyone to accept us or Luv us.
The only way for people who are already infected with hatred, anger, fear, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and all intolerance towards those different from them is if they choose to clean out the toxins circulating in their minds, living in their veins, boiling in their blood.
Our actions are governed by our thoughts and the only way to effectively change the world to cultivate peace and Luv is to change the way we see each other. We treat people congruent to how we see them.
For those of us who can genuinely see each other as human beings let's do our part to stop breeding more hate and start creating more understanding, positive, and Luving environments.
13 Ways to Cultivate Peace and Luv (So much more can be added, but this is a start)
Do not be Color Blind. See everyone. See the diversity because there is nothing wrong with what people are. You can Luv yourself while still appreciating and respecting people different from you.
Raise your children around various cultures and travel outside of your neighborhood, community, state, and country. If your children are raised getting to know people who speak different from them, look different from them, and think different from them then they won't fear differences. They will have an opportunity to appreciate differences and see beauty in it.
Do not justify acts of discrimination. When validating the actions of the attacker you’re demeaning the life of the one attacked.
Avoid generalizing. The behavior or attitude of one or some, is not all.
Be educated on the contributions people from other cultures have achieved and provided.
Do not make assumptions about a person or individual group. Get to know people for who they are, not who you expect them to be.
Do not participate in comments or actions that appear to be derogatory or prejudicial to any individual group.
Speak up when witnessing someone being humiliated or discriminated against.
Be aware of how you speak and treat people. Are your words and actions uplifting or damaging?
Do not make decisions for another culture if they should not be offended when their culture has been disrespected or dehumanized. It is not for us to defend or condone any form of mistreatment against another that isn’t directed at us or our culture regardless how we would personally respond, react, or feel if in the same situation.
Be humble. Put your ego, assumptions, and views aside to genuinely reflect on another’s experience to avoid minimizing their experience or question the validity of their feelings.
Acknowledge that all people are human beings.
Value each other's lives.
Luv Mrk offers Impacting Perceptions an interactive workshop or presentation assessing our perceptions and treatment of people due to their gender, race, religion, politics, socio-economic status, sexuality, ability, and appearance in order to build positive relationships and enhance empathy. This workshop or presentation is for students, educators, employees, volunteers, leaders, and all others interested in building unity and having increased emotional intelligence/self-awareness to make a lasting positive impact in our professional and personal lives. This experience is great for diversity training, leadership seminars, team building workshops, orientations, community building events, retreats, enrichment/elective classes, after school programs, and speaker series events.
How to Be There for Someone Who Has Lost a Loved One
It is not always simple knowing how to provide comfort to someone who has lost a loved one. Sometimes you don’t know what to say or what to do to offer support, but reach out anyway. The person who is dealing with someone they cared about passing on may be feeling empty, lost, and alone, for that reason they will appreciate you caring about them and being there for them. Here are some suggestions to offer comfort and assistance...
It is not always simple knowing how to provide comfort to someone who has lost a loved one. Sometimes you don’t know what to say or what to do to offer support, but reach out anyway. The person who is dealing with someone they cared about passing on may be feeling empty, lost, and alone, for that reason they will appreciate you caring about them and being there for them. Here are some suggestions to offer comfort and assistance...
- Contact the grieving person by phone or visit them in person to offer your condolences.
- Offer them a hug, hold their hand, or any form of physical contact you both are comfortable with. You could also just sit next to them and keep providing tissue if they are crying. Sometimes you do not need to say or do anything, but just physically be there, your presence may provide the comfort they need at that moment.
- Instead of saying you are here for them if they need you, just actually do something. They may not know what they need and won’t want to burden you when they do need something.
- Bring over food, disposable eating utensils, paper towels, toilet tissue, and tissue. This is for anyone who lives in the house and for people visiting to provide emotional support; the bereaved person does not need to be concerned with being a host.
- Cook, clean, or run errands for them.
- Volunteer to do specific activities to help with planning the funeral or celebration of life. Could be contacting people inviting them to the funeral, acquiring a caterer, making a tribute video, being an usher the day of the service, etc.
- Help setup a fundraising drive to cover funeral/celebration of life costs or contribute to the fund.
- Even if you know what they are going through this is their own personal event they have to face, do not offer unsolicited similar experiences. If they ask you questions, then have that conversation.
- Do not tell them, “It was their time” or “S/He is in a better place”. Those words offer no relief.
- Do not ask anyone, “How close they were to the deceased” or any questions that resemble the kind of relationship they had. It does not matter if the last time someone spoke to the person was months ago or the last time they saw each other was a year ago, people can still care for someone no matter the time that has passed in staying in communication.
- Keep in touch with the bereaved person on a regular basis. After the funeral/celebration of life, they will still need emotional support. Make sure you’re being there just enough, but not pestering. If they celebrate holidays, definitely make it a point to reach out during those times as well.
- If the person is suffering from physical loneliness, offer to spend the night or a couple nights and watch movies or play games. Do activities they will enjoy.
- Be understanding to the different emotions they will experience and do not take the moments of them being angry and unkind to you personally.
- Allow the person to heal in their own time. Everyone handles death differently and they don’t need an expiration date for mourning. Even when it appears as though they are getting back to their regular routine, they may still be hurting. Respect their process.
Extra Note: Share with your loved ones how you care about them right now. It’s great to hear people sharing stories at the funeral/celebration of life of all of the wonderful ways the deceased person has positively affected their lives, but they would have loved to have heard those words while still living.
Getting Past the Surface
Sometimes you can be friends with someone for years or even in a relationship and still have things to learn about each other. If this is true for those in our social circle what about people we don't know, yet we believe we know who they are based from what we see on the surface? Here are some tips for getting past invalid judgments or superficial rapport to a more real bond.
Have you ever had that moment when you’re out with friends and then they share some information about their past and you say, “Wow, I didn’t know that about you!”? Sometimes you can be friends with someone for years or even in a relationship and still have things to learn about each other.
If this is true for those in our social circle what about people we don't know, yet we believe we know who they are based from what we see on the surface? Here are some tips for getting past invalid judgments or superficial rapport to a more real bond.
1. When having a conversation with someone you know or just met, listen to what they are saying without waiting for your turn to speak. If you aren’t concerned with rushing to share your thoughts and patiently wait to add your perspective, you will be providing more of your full attention to the person in your company, which in return they will appreciate being heard. Also, stay present. Do not get distracted by people in the room or your phone. Be in the moment and you will realize how much you get to know about your companion.
2. Instead of asking the usual “How are you?” ask “What has been the best part of your day today?” You may throw them off guard, but then a positive conversation can get started as you both share what happened that brought happiness. Psst, this is not the question you have to use, it’s just a suggestion to go beyond the typical banter. Ask about an update on someone or a situation you know matters to them. Ask them a silly question like if their life was a movie what would be in the funny outtakes/gag reel? Think of any question that can provide an answer with more detail or a one word response. If you need assistance do an online search for alternative questions to, “how are you?” or conversation starters.
3. If you appreciate diversity and want to know someone because they are a part of a culture that is different from yours, be respectable. Do not ask where they’re from, what their name means, or what they’re mixed with. Let them share that information on their own if they want. When you pry and continue to re-word the questions because they are not giving you the answer you want, this means they do not want to share. Respect their right to not share and change the subject. Because truthfully it is not really our business what race someone is or where they’re from. They’re a person, a human being just like you. Just because someone is a part of a culture that speaks a language, honors traditions, and wears a style that differs from a culture you identify with, that doesn’t make them entertainment or a subject on the National Geographic channel to be studied.
4. If you fear someone because they are different from you, start a conversation with them. You may realize you have more in common than you could have imagined, or that there is nothing to be afraid of. If they work in your building, introduce yourself and say what you do or what department you’re in and that you are working on getting to meet everyone. At that moment they may share their name and what position they have as well. Or perhaps it's someone who frequents the same coffee shop as you, just casually say hi and introduce yourself. If they only share a name and you’re not getting a “vibe” they want to continue speaking, just say it was nice to meet them and say their name, i.e. “It was nice to meet you Joe, enjoy the rest of your day.” From then on when you see “Joe” say hi and include his name. When you use someone’s name that makes them feel special you remembered their name and will also help in having them be more comfortable to speak with you. If you have time ask some of the questions in option 2. Next thing you know you both will start having more to say to each other and get to know one another more. If you unfortunately do not get the chance to build a connection with “Joe” don’t make assumptions about him. Everyone has their own story and battles they are dealing with. Every one of us end up the way we are from what we have learned and experienced. If you do not get to know where “Joe” is coming from, don’t make up stories in your head, share them, and then convince others its truth. Let him be. Yet, I’m rooting for you two to end up as friends!
Enjoy getting to know people and those close to you better! Stay engaged during dialogue, have more in depth conversations, allow yourself to know people for who they are and not who you assume them to be, choose to be respectful, and kind.
We project what is within, which is why Luv Mrk offers Impacting Perceptions, a transformative workshop to explore our personal views and how these interpretations affect self and relationships with others. Discover how outside influences from our experiences and environment to the media shapes our perceptions which in turn inspire our choices and actions. When we identify the beneficial and/or destructive impact our beliefs have on our lives we can then consciously choose to evolve our approach to the way we treat ourselves and those around us in order to cultivate the peace and Luv we seek in the world.