13 ways to cultivate Peace and Luv in a Diverse World
Our actions are governed by our thoughts and the only way to effectively change the world to cultivate peace and love is to change the way we see each other. We treat people congruent to how we see them.
Do we want to stop destroying each other? We have been absorbing the recycled perceptions being passed down from generation to generation fed to us from our family, peers, education system, media, politics and religion. What have we trusted and accepted that keeps the destructive interactions we have with one another going? What have we agreed to that causes us to habitually despise one another because of our differences?
The truth is, we cannot force the KKK, Neo Nazis, and all other White Supremacist groups to start seeing People of Color as Human Beings and value our lives.
We cannot force anyone to accept us or Luv us.
The only way for people who are already infected with hatred, anger, fear, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and all intolerance towards those different from them is if they choose to clean out the toxins circulating in their minds, living in their veins, boiling in their blood.
Our actions are governed by our thoughts and the only way to effectively change the world to cultivate peace and Luv is to change the way we see each other. We treat people congruent to how we see them.
For those of us who can genuinely see each other as human beings let's do our part to stop breeding more hate and start creating more understanding, positive, and Luving environments.
13 Ways to Cultivate Peace and Luv (So much more can be added, but this is a start)
Do not be Color Blind. See everyone. See the diversity because there is nothing wrong with what people are. You can Luv yourself while still appreciating and respecting people different from you.
Raise your children around various cultures and travel outside of your neighborhood, community, state, and country. If your children are raised getting to know people who speak different from them, look different from them, and think different from them then they won't fear differences. They will have an opportunity to appreciate differences and see beauty in it.
Do not justify acts of discrimination. When validating the actions of the attacker you’re demeaning the life of the one attacked.
Avoid generalizing. The behavior or attitude of one or some, is not all.
Be educated on the contributions people from other cultures have achieved and provided.
Do not make assumptions about a person or individual group. Get to know people for who they are, not who you expect them to be.
Do not participate in comments or actions that appear to be derogatory or prejudicial to any individual group.
Speak up when witnessing someone being humiliated or discriminated against.
Be aware of how you speak and treat people. Are your words and actions uplifting or damaging?
Do not make decisions for another culture if they should not be offended when their culture has been disrespected or dehumanized. It is not for us to defend or condone any form of mistreatment against another that isn’t directed at us or our culture regardless how we would personally respond, react, or feel if in the same situation.
Be humble. Put your ego, assumptions, and views aside to genuinely reflect on another’s experience to avoid minimizing their experience or question the validity of their feelings.
Acknowledge that all people are human beings.
Value each other's lives.
Luv Mrk offers Impacting Perceptions an interactive workshop or presentation assessing our perceptions and treatment of people due to their gender, race, religion, politics, socio-economic status, sexuality, ability, and appearance in order to build positive relationships and enhance empathy. This workshop or presentation is for students, educators, employees, volunteers, leaders, and all others interested in building unity and having increased emotional intelligence/self-awareness to make a lasting positive impact in our professional and personal lives. This experience is great for diversity training, leadership seminars, team building workshops, orientations, community building events, retreats, enrichment/elective classes, after school programs, and speaker series events.
Getting Past the Surface
Sometimes you can be friends with someone for years or even in a relationship and still have things to learn about each other. If this is true for those in our social circle what about people we don't know, yet we believe we know who they are based from what we see on the surface? Here are some tips for getting past invalid judgments or superficial rapport to a more real bond.
Have you ever had that moment when you’re out with friends and then they share some information about their past and you say, “Wow, I didn’t know that about you!”? Sometimes you can be friends with someone for years or even in a relationship and still have things to learn about each other.
If this is true for those in our social circle what about people we don't know, yet we believe we know who they are based from what we see on the surface? Here are some tips for getting past invalid judgments or superficial rapport to a more real bond.
1. When having a conversation with someone you know or just met, listen to what they are saying without waiting for your turn to speak. If you aren’t concerned with rushing to share your thoughts and patiently wait to add your perspective, you will be providing more of your full attention to the person in your company, which in return they will appreciate being heard. Also, stay present. Do not get distracted by people in the room or your phone. Be in the moment and you will realize how much you get to know about your companion.
2. Instead of asking the usual “How are you?” ask “What has been the best part of your day today?” You may throw them off guard, but then a positive conversation can get started as you both share what happened that brought happiness. Psst, this is not the question you have to use, it’s just a suggestion to go beyond the typical banter. Ask about an update on someone or a situation you know matters to them. Ask them a silly question like if their life was a movie what would be in the funny outtakes/gag reel? Think of any question that can provide an answer with more detail or a one word response. If you need assistance do an online search for alternative questions to, “how are you?” or conversation starters.
3. If you appreciate diversity and want to know someone because they are a part of a culture that is different from yours, be respectable. Do not ask where they’re from, what their name means, or what they’re mixed with. Let them share that information on their own if they want. When you pry and continue to re-word the questions because they are not giving you the answer you want, this means they do not want to share. Respect their right to not share and change the subject. Because truthfully it is not really our business what race someone is or where they’re from. They’re a person, a human being just like you. Just because someone is a part of a culture that speaks a language, honors traditions, and wears a style that differs from a culture you identify with, that doesn’t make them entertainment or a subject on the National Geographic channel to be studied.
4. If you fear someone because they are different from you, start a conversation with them. You may realize you have more in common than you could have imagined, or that there is nothing to be afraid of. If they work in your building, introduce yourself and say what you do or what department you’re in and that you are working on getting to meet everyone. At that moment they may share their name and what position they have as well. Or perhaps it's someone who frequents the same coffee shop as you, just casually say hi and introduce yourself. If they only share a name and you’re not getting a “vibe” they want to continue speaking, just say it was nice to meet them and say their name, i.e. “It was nice to meet you Joe, enjoy the rest of your day.” From then on when you see “Joe” say hi and include his name. When you use someone’s name that makes them feel special you remembered their name and will also help in having them be more comfortable to speak with you. If you have time ask some of the questions in option 2. Next thing you know you both will start having more to say to each other and get to know one another more. If you unfortunately do not get the chance to build a connection with “Joe” don’t make assumptions about him. Everyone has their own story and battles they are dealing with. Every one of us end up the way we are from what we have learned and experienced. If you do not get to know where “Joe” is coming from, don’t make up stories in your head, share them, and then convince others its truth. Let him be. Yet, I’m rooting for you two to end up as friends!
Enjoy getting to know people and those close to you better! Stay engaged during dialogue, have more in depth conversations, allow yourself to know people for who they are and not who you assume them to be, choose to be respectful, and kind.
We project what is within, which is why Luv Mrk offers Impacting Perceptions, a transformative workshop to explore our personal views and how these interpretations affect self and relationships with others. Discover how outside influences from our experiences and environment to the media shapes our perceptions which in turn inspire our choices and actions. When we identify the beneficial and/or destructive impact our beliefs have on our lives we can then consciously choose to evolve our approach to the way we treat ourselves and those around us in order to cultivate the peace and Luv we seek in the world.
Start A New Story
We cannot erase the past, but we can NOW BE THE SOLUTION.
We cannot erase the past, but we can NOW BE THE SOLUTION.
Luv Mrk offers workshops, kindness campaigns, and apparel to promote treating ourselves and others with respect, kindness, peace, and Luv.